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News
Man Wondering What The Prayers Of A Not-So-Righteous Man Availeth
1+ day, 19+ hour ago (33+ words) PANHANDLE, TX — Though glad to know from Scripture that the prayers of a righteous man availeth much, local man Josh Peterson wondered what exactly the prayers of a not-that-righteous man like himself availeth....
Confirmed: Reel Of All Your Life's Bloopers To Be Played When You Arrive In Heaven
2+ week, 5+ day ago (231+ words) ETERNITY — According to heavenly sources, the newly deceased who enter into the Lord's rest are shown a blooper reel that spans their entire lives for everyone to laugh at. Hot off the heels of judgment, newcomers in Heaven must also…...
9 Signs You Belong To The Religion Of Peace
3+ week, 2+ day ago (27+ words) There are a lot of religions out there, but only one can be the religion of peace. How can you be sure you're on the right path?...
Young-Earth Creationist Has No Explanation For Fact That Nancy Pelosi Is 12,000 Years Old
3+ week, 4+ day ago (162+ words) PETERSBURG, KY — A local young-earth creationist is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after realizing he has no explanation for the fact that Nancy Pelosi is 12,000 years old. Thomas Paley, who is a firm believer that God created the Earth…...
Church Introduces Breakaway Stained Glass Windows For Introverts To Use During Sharing Of The Peace
3+ week, 6+ day ago (30+ words) SPRINGFIELD, MO — St. Luke's Lutheran Church of Springfield updated all of its sanctuary's stained-glass windows with "breakaway glass" for introverts to use during the sharing of the peace....